• Wednesday, March 26, 2008

    march... and ive been
    partying like a
    funky bunny...

    i love dancing man... i try new moves in the shower.. in the lift.. while doing my hair.. dancing is sweet! zouk just didnt do it the other day.. i love house and trance.. but i just couldnt groove to it... house and trance + lotsa booze + beach party (per se) would be awesome.. otherwise it just doesnt cut it... we've been spending quite a lot of time at the rupee room.. this hindi club.. i shit you not! the music is non stop.. the adrenaline is non stop... everything's in patialla measurements man.. aka double pack... imagine a typical punjabi wedding function.. lotsa beers n scotch.. and dancing... hindi music's not really my thing.. but the dj's pretty good at mixing it up and i can totally get jiggy with it... one of the bouncers recognizes me as the "fantastic dancer".. im not making this up people.. but seriously fantastic is stretching it way too far mate...

    im 25... its amazing.. i've been around for a quarter century.. people are in disbelieve im 25.. not that i look older... they keep saying bollocks! you're like 22 the most..! someone guessed i was 17 even! how sad kan..? baby face (apparently) aside.. funny thing is i dont feel anything like 25... how is 25 suppose to feel like.. no idea.. but seriously i still feel like a kid... this whole age thing is so over rated man.. im kinda gettin used to this hey you dont look 25 thing...

    that a side.. its rather scary being 25... it just hit me that day.. mentally very painful... like holy batman! im gonna be 30 in 5 years!! i havent achieved jack shit.. as per my expectations.... i gotta totally stop relying on mom and dad in 5 years...
    for god's sake i wanted to retire at 30... i still wanna retire at 30 man... its not that i havent been serious in live... but to me i keep screwing up... i feel like im always moving back.. dad say's "secret to success is right decisions... right decisions come from experience.. and experience is gained from wrong decisions.." so cheers to that i reckon... for now i dont feel complete... i could be so much better.. i could be in a better position.. making more money.. feeling more important.. could.. hate that single word man... i am where i am now.. even though im not where i think i ought to be.. i cant deny that im learning so much... new stuff every time.. which will proove to be very valuable in the years to come... but i cant take it bending over and i have 5 years to make the best of it...

    was talkin with someone over ayam penyek and donuts earlier... and she made me realize that perhaps i have too much expectations.. too high expectations.. and it hit me.. geez robin! you're effing right... i have this whole life planned in my head.. where i should be.. what i should be.. family.. marriage... i even want a daughter first.. if i ever have kids...
    she says its better not to have expectations.. and just go with it.. you'd be happier with what you have in front of you.. true...
    come to think of it.. i never planned to be in this state.. this state of uncertainty.. why am i here.. decisions.. wrong but apparently smart ones at those times..

    but whats wrong with expectations.. besides the disappointment when you dont meet your expectations... okay disappointment sucks big time.. but it kinda sets the standard... i like to be pushed to the max... i dont mind working like a hamster on a spinning wheel.. but i wanna feel good about it.. for gods sake i like feeling important.. there ive said it.. i like feeling important -_-
    i follow my gut.. even though everyone else says.. damn it man.. dont do it... dont go for it.. but if i feel its right.. right for me.. i'd go for it.. even though i know im setting myself up for disappointment.. thats just me.. i rather try it and say fuck u.. i tried it.. than be a sissy.. and imagine what it could have been..
    she says according to research.. the gut feeling is most accurate or something like that...
    but ya know.. 5 years isnt that long.. considering where i wanna be in 5 years... the amount i should have in investments n stuff... i've got so much to do.. and i cant afford much more mistakes.. if i dont make it by 30... dont think i'll ever make it.. i know i expect too much too high.. as simple as the food i eat.. maybe i ought to tone it down a lil.. sticking to a plan isnt that easy either innit...

    its still march.. im giving myself till end of the march to celebrate.. bask in glory of being 25.. im still accepting pressies... so if anyone wants to fed ex me some gucci stuff... protein supplements perhaps.. i'd love you long time... but after this month.. i gotta stop carrying the credit cards around... i've already started shopping less... gotta work out a financial plan with the father.. and start investing that cash... im serious bout retiring at 30 man! sneakers.. and watches.. and designer wear and a lil too much socializing aint gonna get me to where i wanna be...

    edit: its 5.30am and im still at orchard.... balcony is only 50 meters away but im sitting in swensons instead... i didnt wanna end / start the day with a chivas or two.. with the risk of hurting my already fragile throat / tonsils.. no regrets.. i just got served one kick as burger right here... so totally gonna mess up my system for the next couple days.. but i was hungry damnit... its interesting that vertical horizon's everything you want is playing in the background...
    orchard will be a total mad house in a matter of hours.. but for now its so serene and relaxing...

    4 Comments:

    OpenID charlenediane said...

    I got all the details up on my blog :-)

    Lets gooooooooooooooooooooo :-)

    6:59 AM  
    Blogger Obelisk Dee said...

    wow...jealousnyee

    10:44 PM  
    Blogger paradoxx said...

    Charlene - hey.. im not to sure.. sems interesting.. thinking bout traveling back all sloshed is a big sucky.. but i'll let you know though..

    Obelisk dee - heya.. very familiar nick! jealous? whats there to be jealous bout ?

    12:03 AM  
    OpenID charlenediane said...

    And I'm flying all the way from KK! :D

    9:33 PM  

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