• Sunday, September 30, 2007

    :-(

    Ooo I need your love, babe
    guess you know it's true
    Hope you need my love babe
    just like I need you

    Hold me, love me, hold me, love me
    I ain't got nothing but love, babe
    Eight days a week

    Love you every day, girl
    always on my mind
    One think I can say, girl
    love you all the time

    Hold me, love me, hold me, love me
    I ain't got nothing but love, girl
    Eight days a week

    Eight days a week
    I love you
    Eight days a week
    is not enough to show I care

    aaarrrgggghhhhhhh....!!!! do forgive the sappiness...wankers.....

    vacation has finally come to an end.... if you'd even call it a vacation..? some sort yea.... time really goes by fast.... like we didnt already know that... but its really unbelievable... one month... gone like that.. *snap fingers* just like that... what did i do... nothing... what did i achieve... totally feels like nothing... running and working out went down the drain since that day... and it never seemed to resurface..

    so why is this some sort of vacation ending.. you ask.... well i'll be part of the workforce again... im goin back to work tomorrow...! its still retail related... fashion and lifestyle... guess who's part of Nike now....? :) (woot!...?)
    seems pretty sweet... we have less stores... the people seem pretty nice... so far... 5 day work week! only bout 46 hours a week!! i used to do bout 80 hours a week previously!
    i really need to get used to the hours... and the extra free time... i sincerely nearly told the area manager.. that it seems not right... like i have too little hours! but yea i dont wanna jinx it... its all good for now... we'll see how it progresses as time goes by.... its not all a bed of roses... i've got so much to learn... self pressuring myself to pick up everything as fast as possible... learning the technology in every product... the more knowledge i have the more secure i feel... its easier to fit in... learning the work and organization culture of the company and adapting is another thing... i'll just havta take a deep breath and jump right in....

    was a lil worried at first that i'll end up splurging more cash on sneakers every month now... huge staff discounts are a nice bonus.... but the current collection doesnt tickle my fancy... safe for now, at least... new collection to be launched in bout a month or so... that will be pretty scary..... but yea all good... self control is key... right?.................right?

    otherwise.. with all this free time... i've realized... im pretty lonely... and it pretty much sucks... close friends have left.. are leaving... dont know if they'll ever return... of course... we'll keep in touch... i hope... and maybe even meet up... but its never the same innit...
    life revolved around work.... and then she came into my life... like a fresh breath of air... i became part of her life... all so quick and unexpectedly...
    life had meaning... i had someone to spend it with... someone to talk with... she always had a smile and it always made me smile.... after so long... i was actually happy... there she was.. a ray of light which i needed....
    we parted too soon..... i hadta go back... she hadta go back... we were supposed to reunite after that short break... it all seemed too easy... perhaps i was a lil naive... i dont know... could see it in her eyes.. she didnt want me to leave... but never did i expect it to be fucked up like this... if only i could change back time... i would have held her and never let each other go...

    its exactly a month now... im back... still waiting... dont know when she's returning... if she's ever returning... miss her real bad... :(

    Thursday, September 20, 2007

    They tried to make me go to rehab
    but I said 'no, no, no'

    Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll 'know, know, know,'
    I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine
    He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't 'go, go, go,'

    dang... point one...
    remember the other day... was proud and shit that i've been running.. consistently.. working my abs.. and all that good stuff... oh well... it all pretty much went down the sewer.. 'em running shoes have been idle for... oh! say.. 4 days now ? or something like that..

    point two... if you'd also recall... someone said he'd surprised himself by not touching alcohol since he got back here... sober for 10 solid days.... oh well... things have a way of takin a turn innit....

    Think siva is the devil in disguise... dude tells me he wants to follow me for a run! SHOCKED! dude waited i never turned up... so much for running after that....
    Dude suggests we go out... i say.. cool lets have a drink.... SHOCKED! cause the last time by 7.30pm we were SMASHED! and i ended up going to work hung over for 2 whole days... good times! *hi mom :)*

    we headed to orchard... as usual... safe to say it wasnt as hardcore as before... 7.30pm... still very sober... we started with happy hour Heine's at The Balcony...

    Those chairs are actually rocking chairs... real fun i bet if you're tipsy...

    took a walk to Plaza Sing for pizza's and San Migs.... then walked back to The Sanctuary for Coronas.... 11.30pm and 100+bucks worth of beers in between us now.... and i didnt feel jack shit! too slow i suppose... or maybe all that walkin.... :(
    binge drinkin is the shite! the fun is in.. the permanent smile on the face... the "i am walkin straight" when you're not stride... the amazement... "woah! look at that!"...
    was rather hoping to feel that... at least you're not worried for the rest of the day... i was contemplating a bottle of JD for ol' times sake... but no someone had obligations to return to... oh well! we know who holds the whip with that one now dont we...

    was supposed to head back home... the real home... parents... dogs... cars.. ipoh... yesterday... was pretty pissed i couldnt make it.. due to some unforeseen circumstances... im booked for tomorrow morning... should be home by evening if everything works out fine... *fingers crossed* was planning to fly down to penang then hitch a coach back... but it didnt make sense cause the freakin flight is only at night... fuckin insane cause its cheaper to fly JB - Jakarta than JB - Penang! fuckin dont make sense.... The Cat's like dude dont go back... We'll go to Phuket... !! as fuckin awesome as that seems... i had to decline... I havta go home... with my tail in between my legs... defeat of sorts... i've run out of dough... my accounts are dry... i need to pay the bank of dad a visit.... he's gonna enjoy every moment bargaining with me.... nice! he already knows that i've been splurging on shoes every other month.... so at least thats out of the way.. or so i hope...

    but its not all that bad going home.... besides swallowing the pride... did i even have any so start with?.... food's gonna be good... we already know food here is so plasticky... a change.. albeit for a couple of days is refreshing enough... driving may again... lookin outta the window and having a lawn and pets to look at...

    This fuckin thing is back to pester me... fuckin finger/nail whatever infection... and no i didnt stick my thumb up my ass or anyone else's either! its irritating.. im so bloody used to it fortunately.. it'd come.. heal.. just to taunt me.. than come back again in no time at all... at one time it was just flesh that was left... no thumb print on that one... hurt as hell! and its always my thumb! never had it for a year or so till now.... we'll see how long this muthafucka lasts this time....

    Currently Listening To : A Kiss to Send Us Off - Incubus
    Currently Feeling: To Pack or not...


    Monday, September 17, 2007

    Check out my
    matching pipes....!!



    oh god!.... this cracks me up every freakin time i watch it...!! and btw those ARE zebra stripes!!!

    Currently Listening To: silence
    Currently Feeling: Hungry + lazy
    "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man" - Lana Turner

    hhhmmmm... your comments ladies (& gentlemen) ?

    Saturday, September 15, 2007

    The trouble with
    having too much free time...

    Just got back from a run... been running more actively since i got back.... it feels awesome... my mind's overcoming my body... two thumbs up and a shot of vodka for my mind! naren left and the dude took all the free weights and swiss ball with him... well it was his anyway... all im left with is my yoga mat... im trying to tone up my body as much as possible... 9 months of neglect is no laughing matter.... im targeting my abs more than anything else... stopped being a wuss and im up to a 100 to 150 reps of crunches..... give it a week and i'll be up to 300.... hey if anything at least i'll have nice abs for the ladies ya...

    its my 5th day back in singapore... boring as a bowl of blanched potatoes.... been kinda rotting at home... im jobless... it sucks being a bum... from having a career... all you worried about was work and work related stuff... you get back bout 15 hours later and just hit the sack... start all over again the next morning.... yup i didnt accept that position in malaysia... just didnt bother bout it... dont ask... im hoping its the right thing i did... so for now if any of you need a maid.. an escort or something... just holla... i used to enjoy bumming about... no worries... sadly i've become a workaholic i suppose... i have that hunger to get back to work.. long hours... stress... paper work... god!

    think im too accustomed to retail now... hey.. food is still my passion... she finds it cute, that every time we're out i always have something to critic bout food and the service... cant help it its just part of me... but i seriously cant see myself going back to f&b... i dont know why... i imagine myself in a restaurant or a hotel and it doesnt feel right... for some weird reason... it'd only feel right when i set up a lil bistro or cafe of sorts of my own i suppose...

    its officially Saturday night… my 8th day back here... and two thumbs up for me… cause im at home…. Two middle fingers rather… I haven’t showered since last evening… hair’s still presentable though… I keep feelin the facial hair growing by the hour… but I could be to arse’d to do anything bout it…. I waited until 4pm to get something to eat… mom would’ve been real proud…
    now I feel like having a venti chai latte and some mini chocolate croissants…. Im so addicted to chocolate coated croissants….. alas i couldn’t be arsed to walk over to four leaves… why cant ‘em bakeries come up with a delivery service…? Hello….! Free idea to be stolen….! Anybody?

    guess I’ll go for a run later… trying to vary my route every now and then…. Im hoping I would put on my shoes and hit the road…. Its so hard taking that first initiative aint it…
    heh.. was just gonna sms my housemate… if he wanted to join me on a run… then I realized the dude just had lunch…..
    I’ve been eating more often now… with cravings for dessert…. But im not to sure if I’ve actually put on weight… I don’t think so…. But I hope im at lease getting there…

    Its 1930…. Perfect for a run…. Still not sure if I’ll make it… I wanna go… get sweaty.. get pumped up… other part of me is saying… dude be a wuss and just hang out at home… which is takin away my mood for a run…. Ok fuck the run for today….

    before you get any idea's.. those are NOT zebra stripes...! repeat after me... NOT zebra stripes!

    It suddenly feels so comfy… so inviting… my room… feels so cozy… even though theres clothes scattered here and there.. bags and boxes on the floor… I dunno man… fuck… avril lavigne’s girlfriend just started playing… its my phone… don’t know who’s callin, couldn’t be arse’d to answer… makes me wanna roll up in bed…. God! Its not even 8pm and I’ve become so fuckin sappy… but if she were here, it’d be perfect…. Oh well….

    Me: what u up 2?
    The cat: ?? what u mean?
    Me: what u doin!
    The cat: Chinatown.. there’s a festival
    Me: don’t know how to invite ppl ar?!

    Damn… tempting… but I need a bath… a shave… bollocks if im gonna make it on time…. Imagine the crowd… he’s asking me out to clark quay now…. Don’t know whats up with this boy… but he’s been throwing this idea of drinking… alcohol… I keep telling him.. don’t start.. if I start u cant stop me… do u really wanna see how im like?
    Cause I know he’s gonna stop after just one… i bloody surprised myself… but I haven’t touched alcohol of any sort since I got back here… drinks are always at the bean or starbucks… I know… but I don’t know why the change….
    Haha! Dude’s callin me over to Hooters for chicken wings now! Can u believe that! tempted.. tempted... but the thought of shower.. shave.. puttin clothes together... hair... 40 mins train ride... its gonna take me say 2 hrs.... someone would be goin "tsk..tsk..tsk" right about now... :-P





    Sunday, September 09, 2007

    How thoughtful......


    Friday, September 07, 2007

    The freakin moose
    Killed Fall Out Boy.....



    how freaky is this.. yet you cant deny the happy ending...

    "Whoa oh, we're so miserable and stunning
    Whoa oh, love songs for the genuinely cunning"

    Sunday, September 02, 2007

    back home.... its very..very...very depressing being home... every damn thing feels so bloody alien... i dont like it here.... its been raining non stop for 2 days.. i feel sick.. i feel down.. i get a headache being in my room... was happy with the 100 or so channels on the tele but im growing bored of that as well...
    i hate being at home.. and i cant seem to go out cause its raining... and i bloody hate the rain...
    the first day i was back.. i just took may out... and drove.... till the wee hours of the morning... reluctant to go home... i nearly even drove down to singapore... only thing that stopped me was may had just got up from 6 months of hibernation....

    i feel so rough... unshaven... unkempt.... feel like a bag of shit... slept so much.. i dont wanna sleep no more... my minds a complete mess...

    as much as i disliked it... but i suppose life was simpler and maybe even had more meaning..when i had 5 hours sleep a day... attended 8am meetings.. worked bout 15 hours a day.... guess i could even afford a smile then... now life feels so empty... like no purpose.. no meaning... think i need to get into rehab for depression or some shit like that...